The power of meaning-filled words

 

This morning as I looked through a book on painting with oil pastels, I was reminded of an old school lesson on vision: i.e., The rods of the eye distinguish light from dark, whereas the cones assess hues of color.

 

Reading about rods and cones brought to mind the fourth verse of the twenty-third Psalm:

 

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.”

 

Wow! This newly considered meaning of “rods” resulted in the following senryu, which I wrote down quickly before I forgot!

 

The rods of the eye
distinguish light from darkness.
God’s rods comfort me.

©Mary Harwell Sayler

 

In this instance, the added connotations produced a poem, but this process can work backwards too. For example, as you read through poems you have already written, consider each word and any additional meanings they might have. Then, as you revise, use the most interesting connotations to add new depth and fresh insight to your poetry.

 

 

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Playing with Words

 

Every now and then, we’ve talked about the fun of playing with words, but this practice can also bring something unexpected to a poem, surprising, perhaps, both you and your readers.

 

Playing with words can bring connections we hadn’t previously considered.

 

The other day, for instance, my Bible Study group reached the book of Hebrews in our progressive study of the New Testament, and we came to this verse about religious leaders.

“Since he himself is weak in many ways, he is able to be gentle with those who are ignorant and make mistakes,” Hebrews 5:2, Good News Translation (GNT.)                                          

What was true of a compassionate leader then is true now, but the word that caught my attention was “ignorant.” We usually think of that word as being unaware of factual data, but I suddenly became aware of how ignorance also relates to those who ignore God. Carrying that connection further could be the starting place for a religious poem or a devotional article.

 

Using words with various spellings can also start a poem.

 

For example, most of us prefer “peace of mind” over “piece of mind,” but a single poem with both spellings could be insightful or become a rant!

 

Reading a dictionary has evoked many a poem for many a well-known poet!

 

If you were a mechanic or carpenter, wouldn’t you want every useful tool for your trade? For poets and writers, that “tool box” contains a regular dictionary, poetry dictionary, and handbook on grammar. That’s the bare minimum to bear. Judeo-Christian poets and writers would surely want at least one translation of the Bible, while academics need a manual of style.

 

Speaking of academics, I’d never given thought to the word “academic” or “academia” until I opened a dictionary to the A’s and read about Akademos, the legendary Athenian hero of the Trojan Wars. His association with Helen of Troy and also the school grounds where Plato likely taught gave me the impetus for this poem.

 

 

Writing The Academian Myth

 

Helen wrote history

without royalties,

inspiration

without musing

over musicals or poems.

 

Helen wrote mystery,

adventure,

romance and lively letters

loosely leafed

on wind.

 

When Akademos heard

where Helen had been hidden,

he played the instrument

for her release from unwritten

mortal codes and, hence,

her capture

in immortal odes, which

spoke volumes.

 

Mary Harwell Sayler from A Poet’s Guide to Writing Poetry

If you have a topic you’d like to see discussed in a future post or a comment about your own play-times with words, let's hear from you in the Comments section below.

 

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The poetry technique of tiny

With the Internet speed of self-publishing, a poet’s rush to get published can quickly result in a lengthy poem that forgets the reader and says nothing new. It’s sort of like a one-sided, long-winded conversation – often boring to the other person.

If you even suspect this might be true of your poems, my advice is to write tiny.

Read haiku and other mini-poems.

Find out if there’s a form to follow.

Stay within the lines or syllabic count of that particular pattern.

This may sound confining but can actually be freeing as the last two years of poetry-writing have shown me. i.e., After a while, poems begin coming to you in 17 syllables.

Actually, the same is true if you start writing, in say, iambic pentameter or any other pattern. However, to stay on our present topic about the importance of little things in writing and revising, consider the senryu.

A senryu has the same 3-line pattern as the haiku with 5/7/5 syllables on each respective line. The difference between the two syllabic forms of poetry is in the content and purpose.

A haiku draws a quick sketch of a seasonal scene, often with a touch of humor.

A senryu presents a quick thought or insight.

This morning, for example, when I took my coffee onto the deck overlooking our little lake, this senryu came to mind:

Is it You I see?

Maybe. Probably. I don’t know.  

God is everywhere.

I went inside, wrote down those words before I forgot, then this revised version occurred to me:

Is it You I see?

Maybe. Probably. I’m not sure.

God is everywhere.

If, like most people, you’ve ever struggled with faith or moments of doubt, that poem might speak to you. So the reader could well have a part in the poem.

The capitalization of “You” is a small thing but alerts the reader to a conversation with God. The change between “I don’t know” and “I’m not sure” is small too, but weighty with possibility. For instance, if you take out that teeny tiny period ending the second line, you have an expression of doubt:

“I’m not sure God is everywhere.”

Yet another tiny change can turn the poem into a call-and-response or debate with oneself, if you simply add a line space:

Is it You I see?

Maybe. Probably. I’m not sure.

God is everywhere.

Then the small addition of italics for the last line can create further emphasis and possibly clarify the debate between doubt and faith. It might even highlight the fact that God's presence is beyond measure.

Is it You I see?

Maybe. Probably. I’m not sure.

God is everywhere.

Mary Harwell Sayler, ©2020

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Finding the right word

Poets often have a favorite method of writing, and mine is to let words flow without censoring or editing until the poem has finished pouring onto paper and/or into my pc then taken a rest. Later, when I go back to revise, I read the poem aloud to locate and repair any rough spots.

With or without revision, a poem can speak clearly and well but still lack oomph. Sometimes this happens because of a lack of the imagery needed to help readers envision the experience or sometimes because of a lack of the sound echoes and musicality needed to create auditory interest or sometimes because of a lack of poetic energy, which is a nice way of saying: That poem is blah!

Correcting this situation most likely means spending a little more time with the poem and maybe with a thesaurus. To speed up the latter, I generally revise from my Word file, right-clicking onto each blah word then clicking onto the choice of “Synonyms,” but which one?

To find which synonyms will be effective in your poem, try this:

• Replace an abstract, unclear, or stale word with a synonym that increases the sound echoes in that line or the lines adjacent.

• Look for a word choice with interesting, thought-provoking connotations that add a new dimension or layer of meaning.

• Listen for the needed number of syllables. If your poem has a multi-syllabic word that mars the rhythm, find a synonym with one or two syllables to enhance the beat – or vice versa!

• Your best options for each new word choice will depend on the context of the poem, your overall theme, and the surrounding sounds, thoughts, or imagery you want to emphasize.

Hopefully, this will help to show what I mean:

The Poet in Pursuit of a Still, Right Word

The white stalk
of egret work
equals perfection:
Precision-oriented,
the S-shape
rocks forward
toward some intended
goal – a mystery
to me as it doesn’t
seem to notice
fish erupting
erratically in its
unruffled wake.

© 2012, Mary Harwell Sayler

In revising “The Poet in Pursuit of a Still, Right Word,” I wanted the poem to illustrate everything I just said. So the word “stalk” might bring to mind the kind of stalks you find in leggy plants such as the ones growing in the margins of a lake where an egret “plants” itself in pursuit of dinner. In addition, the egret is most definitely a stalker stalking its prey. Then, the slow, determined movement toward the next fishing spot comes in a forward-rocking motion that shapes the bird into a big “S,” which hopefully evokes that very picture.

One evening, however, I watched an egret concentrate on one spot without moving as fish swished and splashed all around those long legs! What a picture of attentiveness to the task! And that’s the final image I hope to convey:

As you look and listen for the right word, sharpen your focus. Don’t let eruptive options ruffle you or unreal words reel you in. Observe. Be precise, and be like an egret – on the lookout for each freshly-caught word to surface and splash tastefully into line.


© 2014, Mary Harwell Sayler, all rights reserved.

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