How to ruin an almost good poem

For over a decade I chaired the poetry division in a well-run writing competition for poets and writers, and each year I noticed similar mistakes in poems that almost placed. Having learned from this recurring cycle of flaws and errors, I thought you might welcome the following list of things to avoid – not as you write, but as you revise.

• Expressing excessive sentimentality with such words as tears, heart, share, cry, and dear ole something or other

• Stating the obvious

• Writing lines that don't hum true

• Venting, arguing, and/or guilt-tripping readers 

• Bad-mouthing any person or group 

• Using punctuation like chicken pox

• Choosing fonts or colors that turn an editor’s eyes into disco balls

• Chatting without regarding potential readers

• Saying nothing fresh, insightful, imaginative, interesting, or new

• Including clichés that were imaginative a l-o-n-g time ago

• Using crude words, vulgar language, or other devices for shock value

• Emphasizing words that don't need to be noticed by rhyming end-lines – for instance, rhyming “the” and “me”

• Getting locked into end-line rhymes so strongly that syntax suffers, meaning muddies, and English teachers cringe

• Going on and on and on - as I'm truly trying not to do….



©2015, Mary Harwell Sayler has been blessed with many publishing credits including books of poems

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The Perfectly Imperfect Poem

After our discussion about the mistakes in this year’s entries for the poetry contest I judge, I’ve been busily at work, revising and arranging my own poems to enter in a couple of chapbook contests and one book competition. Hopefully, my judging poems by other people has helped me to assess my own poems more objectively, but time, notification of awards (or not!), and acceptance for publication (or not!) will tell.

Meanwhile, here's a list of some remaining flaws. Besides the previously listed character traits, the perfectly imperfect poem:

States the obvious.

Says nothing fresh, insightful, imaginative, interesting, or new.

Relies on clichés that delighted readers a century or ten ago.

Includes archaic words no longer in general use.

Sounds like a private poem that would not mean anything to anyone, much less total strangers. Indeed, the private poem does not seem to be aware that readers even exist.

Uses repetition ineffectively, emphasizing thoughts or phrases that do not warrant headlines or neon lights.

Goes on and on, often repeating what’s been said and said.

Or compresses too tightly, omitting articles and other business words that help people to communicate and make sense.

Bores readers with text as flat as pressed flower in a book.

Makes imprecise statements or assumptions that are not true or emotional statements that do not ring true.

Gives advice no one asked for or wanted to receive.

Has no sense of humor, grammar, mystery, or musicality.

Bashes men. Puts down women. Shows big signs of bigotry.

Uses crude or vulgar language that adds nothing but bad taste.

Gets locked into a rhyme pattern that forces the use of poor syntax or that emphasizes words like “of” which just cannot carry well the weight of rhyme.

Tries to be imaginative yet shows no sign of research or the true powers of observation that every poet truly has.

Every poet also has at least one poem with at least one of the problems above, but rejoice! Once you identify a problem, the solution becomes clear.

Mary Sayler, poet-writer

Going Around An Imperfect Poem

For several years I’ve judged the poems entered in an international writing competition, and each year I’ve noticed similar mistakes spinning around the global theater. Since I’ve learned a lot from this recurring cycle of flaws and errors, I thought you might too, so here’s a list of things to avoid – not as you write in that first whirlwind of creativity, but as you stop to catch your breath, clear your head, and revise.

The Perfectly Imperfect Poem

Borders on the sentimental: Uses saccharine phrases or words like tears, heart, share, cry, and dear ole something or other. This category also includes excessive enthusiasm about a spring flower or other subject that might thrill a young tot.

Makes incredible statements: Often flatly stated, these lines sermonize, spout opinions as fact, make unsubstantiated claims, or come up with strange comparisons that do not hum true. Sometimes the poet goes beyond this in what might be an effort to appear wise but comes across as pseudo-wisdom or (such a lovely-sounding word) pomposity.

Gives unasked-for advice: Similar to sermonizing, this flaw takes on a bombastic tone or lays out guilt trips that drive people away. Venting, spewing, and biting may also occur.

Puts people down as a group rather than addressing that one lousy individual to whom the poem could be written: Everyone who’s politically correct knows you may not speak ill of women, other cultures, other races, and other religions, but male-bashing is equally offensive to most guys and some dolls. It’s also not okay to put down Christians and Christianity even though that’s presently the rage, whereas the one you actually want to rebuke might deserve a scathing poem or two. As for blasphemy in poetry, we'll give God the last word on that.

Uses punctuation like chicken pox: Maybe to be different, the poet omits all punctuation or omits it now and then with no consistent speckling. Sometimes lines get all scribbled up with commas, but for most poems, the communication value of plain, old, everyday, regular punctuation is actually considerate and rather hard to beat.

Uses fonts, colors, or patterns of paper that turn editorial eyes into disco balls: Some poets apparently think they must yell to get an editor or reader’s attention and, therefore, may also be inclined to use all caps. Ironically, such screams have the opposite effect, making readers clap hands only over ears.

Talks to self: For some reason, some poets seem to think a poem belongs in the genre of a diary or church confessional. This one-way conversation or out-pouring of emotions may lessen the likelihood of putrefication and, therefore, be healing for the poet, who may then be calling on readers to change a bandage or tend a wound. However, the job of a judge is merely to assesses the quality of a poem, not the mental state of the poet, who might aspire to being the next Sylvia Plath. This judge can, of course, pray for such persons, but then, maybe they already knew that.

And maybe you knew what I figured out: This list could go on and on too long, which, yes, has been the biggest problem with many poems. Let’s talk about that another time and compare notes on flaws we've noticed. Meanwhile, I need to get back to assessing my own poems and revise, revise, revise.


Mary Sayler, poet-writer