Caretaking into Poems

As primary caretaker for a loved one with late-stage Alzheimer’s, I’ve had little time to think about poetry, except for a flood of haiku that recently found its way into my book, Haiku Happening. I hope you’ll buy it, read it, and write a glowing review! But, with the aim of encouraging those of you who are caretakers too, I hope you will express your thoughts and feelings and look for ways to turn the joys and sorrows into poems.

For me, this began with a diagnosis.

Testing

When the neurologist
diagnosed his Alzheimer’s,
confirming my fears nearing
panic, some tried to help
by saying things like:

“Everyone gets Alzheimer’s
as they age!” or, more likely,
“Oh, I’m forgetful too!” 

But do you know what
season of the year we’re in
or who presently sits in the
presidential suite? Can you
draw a square that doesn’t
sag into a parallelogram?

Can you make a phone call?
Do you know each step
to take to clean a comb?

If I dropped you off in town,
could you find your way home?

©2022, Mary Sayler

If you’re taking care of someone who can no longer take care of himself, you’ve likely felt the shock of knowing you have to be continually vigilant, remaining alert for potential hazards you previously had no need to consider. For example:

Things to Be Aware of
When You Need to Be
Everywhere at Once

TV remote left
within reach

Medicines favoring
candy mints but
with flavors not meant
to be chewed

Snacks inclined to choke
a reclining person

Toothbrush – totally dry –
day by day

Heavy-laden disposables
in the recycle bin or
laundry basket or, worse,
tiny pieces of paper and
plastic polka-dotting the
clean clothes in the dryer

Shampoo containers
resembling face cream

Tubes of any ointment
looking like toothpaste,
in case the person
remembers to brush
his teeth

©2022, Mary Sayler

Thankfully, moments of levity ease the sorrow as expressed in this poem, included in the Silent Spark anthology 2022.

Nothing Heartless Here

They call Alzheimer’s
the “cruel disease,”
which shows no
understanding
of the individual
nor his amazing
plays on words –

puns indiscriminately
inserted into
conversations –

or the childlike discovery
of previously unnoticed
wonders

or the way he says,
“I love you,” then
forgets and says it
again and again.

©2022 Mary Sayler

 

Our priorities have changed, of course, and so will our perspectives as we make a point of looking for the bright spots in each day.

 

Little things matter –
bird nests, pine cones, seashells, clouds
reaching for the light.

©2022 Mary Sayler

 

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